Yesterday, I met my father for the first time in person. I had never met him online either, other than messages exchanged through Messenger. But seeing him in real life felt different. Today, I cried. I cried for what had been stolen from us both, an opportunity for a genuine relationship. I cried for my children, for the moments and memories they will never share with a grandparent or great-grandparents. I cried for the lack of resources and wisdom I never received, the lessons I could have learned, the roots that could have grounded me earlier in life. I am not saying my life would have turned out completely different, or that I would not have chosen my own path, but I mourned the simple possibility of what could have been. God knew this day would come, He knew my heart would break and my faith would tremble, yet I still had to walk through it.

I cried because I am the “strong friend,” the one who always seems okay. I am the “strong” partner who is viewed as someone with life all figured out, yet few ever pause to check on me. Few sit with Re’Niisha, the woman who yearns to be understood, who longs for someone to see beyond her armor. I want to be seen not as someone who has all the answers, but as someone who walks forward one step at a time, in faith and obedience. I want someone to notice that behind my strength, I get tired. I get lonely. I get sad. And that sadness is not weakness; it’s part of being human. Today, I allowed myself to feel it fully. I allowed myself to lay the armor down. When a friend told me, “It’s okay,” I believed her. I thanked her for her presence, because finally, someone saw me. Someone said, “It’s safe to set it down here.”

May we create safe spaces for the people we love to land. May we become what we have always needed, soft places of understanding, patience, and care. May we see beyond someone’s strength and recognize the silent battles they carry. And may we remember: healing often begins not in solitude, but in the presence of those who remind us we are safe, seen, and deeply loved.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

Psalms 34:18 NLT