This one is for my people pleasers: recovering and chronic people pleasers alike. I have a message for you. Do what God told you to do. Create what God told you to create. Speak what God told you to speak. If God has given you instructions and you are not executing because you are concerned about what people will think or say, that is disobedience. The people God wants you to have in your life are the ones who do not require you to make yourself small in order to make them feel comfortable; they will not treat your “no” as an attack on their character but will respect your decisions and boundaries. They will not abuse you because you do not do what they say, and most importantly, they will not manipulate you to do what they want you to do. You have to live your life for you and not spend each day trying to appease the masses. People pleasing is not just a bad habit, it is often a survival tactic born from childhood abandonment and a deep fear of rejection. When love was inconsistent, earned through performance, or withheld as punishment, we learned to sacrifice our truth to stay safe and accepted. But God is not like man. Let us break up every root that was not built on the foundation of Christ.
“I’m obviously not trying to flatter you or water down my message to be popular with men, but my supreme passion is to please God. For if all I attempt to do is please people, I would fail to be a true servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10 TPT
So, what can you start doing today to get out of this cycle of people pleasing? Start by knowing you cannot break a five, ten, or twenty-year habit in a day. Let your “no” be no. You do not have to explain the decisions God is calling you to make. Stop being hypervigilant of others’ emotions; you can only control your own. You cannot manage someone else’s emotions; that is God’s job. Only He can change and shift the hearts of men. That is above your pay grade. If you have people who require you to shrink, create distance, and space. Sometimes you have to remove yourself so that you don’t hinder your growth. Think of a plant: when a plant becomes too big for the starter pot, it must be repotted into a larger pot or placed in the ground so that it may grow and not die. Suffocating and dying in a place for the comfort of others is not what God created you for. Lastly, look to God for your affirmation. His applause and Him being pleased with you are the only affirmations you need. Sometimes we want those closest to us to clap for us: family, friends, neighbors, church members, business partners, you name it. Yet, sometimes God will allow us to experience rejection to do heart work and allow us to see who we have been attempting to please this whole time. So write as unto God, serve as unto Him, create as unto Him, and may everything you do in faith and obedience return to you tenfold. Celebrate those God has placed in your life, and know that the community is on the way. What God has for you is not what has been lost. Be blessed and be a blessing.
“Fear and intimidation is a trap that holds you back. But when you place your confidence in the Lord, you will be seated in the high place.”
Proverbs 29:25 TPT
I pray that we would walk fully into who God created us to be. I pray that what God says about you be more than enough. May God cover our ears, eyes, and hearts in this season. May we be delivered and set free from the trap of people pleasing.
Don’t be in fear of those who can kill only the body but not your soul. Fear only God, who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.”
Matthew 10:28 TPT
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